


Just Another Friday

by daroos



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Genderswap, Sex Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-12 23:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daroos/pseuds/daroos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The morning Will Zimmerman woke to budding breasts was not his best morning, but it also probably wasn’t his worst.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Friday

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING! This is a surprise genderswap, male to female! It is intended to be a bit silly, a bit cracky, and for light entertainment. It is not intended to delve into the complex issues of gender and sex, or the realm of trans individuals. Content has attempted to be respectful - if there are concerns please raise them with me in comments. Thanks for reading.

The morning Will Zimmerman woke to budding breasts was not his best morning, but it also probably wasn’t his worst. After all, there was that time he woke up in Zombie Future. And that thing with the chrysalis which Magnus had promised never to mention. In fact, far from the panic which most might expect from a grown man undergoing an entirely unexpected (and undesired) sex change, Will’s predominant thought was, ‘Why does this always happen to me?’.  
-  
When he voiced this thought, rather imploringly, to Kate she laughed. “Dude, you’re the only normal one in this nuthouse. You’re practically begging for it.”

“What about you?” Will responded, feeling betrayed. She gave him one of her sardonic, shit-eating grins and swanned off to bribe someone, or work over contacts in a seedy abnormal bar or... whatever it was she did.

-

Putting on his standard button-down shirt presented two perky insults to Will’s ability to pretend everything was maybe, just maybe, normal. 'Feelings of disassociation’, he noted, looking at the tenting peaks. Normally he enjoyed perky nipples, but...

-

Henry wrinkled his nose and frowned when they crossed paths in the hall. “Dude” was all Henry said, which in and of itself was unusual. That was when Will realized his customary boxers had not been supplemented by pants. Will sighed in defeat. “Dude,” Henry repeated.

-

“The English language is insufficient to express the ways in which I am NOT COOL with this,” Will asserted.

Big Guy grunted in a way that may have been interpreted as sympathetic.

“Well, would you rather be a dick with bitchtits or one hot bitch?” Kate asked pragmatically, in her customarily crude manner.

Will’s look of panic ratcheted up a notch. “So not helping.”

“Would you please calm down? We will get this figured out,” Magnus was soothingly calm.

“Yeah, but how soon?” His voice cracked. “Speaking of which, do you think I could get a second opinion from another doctor? Maybe someone sympathetic to the fact that my manhood is shrinking away.”

“Technically I believe it is shrinking to a clitoris-like structure,” Magnus replied.

Silence met her statement. “Look at it this way - at least you got a great rack,” Kate supplied. At the quelling looks, she retorted, “What? gravity has obviously never touched those babies and it shows!”

“Please get her out of here.”

“I was just trying to look on the bright side!” Kate was already being frog marched out by Henry.  
-  
“I believe the parasite is feeding on melatonin, in addition to the androgens in your body. On the up side, high levels of cortisol seem to be slowing the progression of changes. If we can keep you awake and alert we should be able to hold off the change for another 36 hours or so, but quite honestly, it will happen no matter what we do.”

This was not the news Will had been hoping for, though the news that his anxiety and inability to sleep had probably staved off some of the sex change was at least some comfort.

“You’re out of ideas?” Will asked. Magnus frowned. “You can’t be out of ideas - you ALWAYS have ideas.”

“Though I can’t do anything to halt the change at your current state - and quite honestly I don’t think I should even if I could - I may be able to learn more when you have... settled down.”

“You mean when I’m a woman.”

Magnus looked like she didn’t want to say it, but did anyway. “Yes.”

Will really did not want to admit it, but he would have been very grateful for a bit of privacy and a pillow to cry into, if only as a hysterical stress release. “It may be a reversible condition, but you do seem to be in a unidirectional state of flux. We’ll simply have to see how the organism reacts when you have stabilized. If you would like to hurry the process along, I would suggest a sedative and some chamomile tea.”  
-  
If Will had been in a better state of mind when the choice was presented, he may have had a morose session saying goodbye to his retreating privates, but as it was, he hadn’t slept for two days, his stomach was mostly acid and his head was fit to split in two. He took a few hefty melatonin pills from the unlocked medicine cabinet and went to hide under his covers and await a new day, and a new him. The pills were really a spiteful overkill to his body’s already taxed and exhausted system, and he nearly didn’t make it to his bed before being bludgeoned into unconsciousness by sleep.  
-  
In the rush to bed he had forgotten to take out his contacts, and Will woke to that annoyance. He removed them by feel and crawled out of bed, feeling remarkably well rested. The whole ‘oh God I’m a woman’ thing hit him again, this time just as hard as the last dozen times, but it quickly abated with the help of deep breathing exercises, and the self-hypnosis triggers he had developed during the time on psych rotations.

Everything was fuzzy in the mirror, so he didn’t really bother with self examination and simply put on a shirt and pants that were a bit too big, and went to find something to eat. His stomach was clawing at itself in a painful, knotty sort of way, and he was half a bowl into his cereal when Kate saw him. “I saw your door open and- Woah.” Kate gave him an appraising look. As though realizing she might be being insensitive for the first time since the whole ordeal began, and having an empty hole in her vocabulary where nice or understanding things for this situation might have resided, she simply left.

“Yes, flee from my horrible visage!” Will shouted after her in a slightly shriller voice than he was accustomed to. Frowning thunderously, he continued to eat his cereal uninterrupted.  
-  
“That was really quite rude,” Magnus admonished Kate. “We must try to treat Will as normally as possible if he is to adjust to things.”

Henry was gnawing furiously on his thumb, eying the kitchen’s security camera sidelong. “Dude, he is a she.”

“One’s sex does not define the gender one identifies with. I doubt this will have changed Will’s perception of himself, especially given we still have hopes of returning him to his former state.”

Kate and Henry exchanged a look of understanding behind Magnus’ back.  
-  
“Will,” Big guy greeted him in the kitchen, going about his morning routine, unloading the dishwasher and reloading it with the casualties of midnight snacks.

“Hey,” he greeted, coughed, and tried once more a bit lower, “Hey.”

Big Guy huffed in amusement but made no comment. He finished his chores as Will finished his cereal. “I believe Magnus wants to see you in the infirmary,” Big Guy commented, glancing at Will.

Will quirked an eyebrow, but stood, handing over his bowl. “I figured.”  
-  
Magnus wasn’t there when he got to the infirmary, and he suddenly realized he really, really had to pee. Simultaneously he realized that things probably didn’t work like he remembered them to, and that he might just have a panic attack on the toilet. It occurred to Will that having a panic attack on the toilet was probably better than having one elsewhere when needing to urinate so urgently, so he made use of the facilities.

He’d peed sitting down before. Every little boy learns to do it, and yeah, this was really really beyond his realm of okay, but man it was better than trying to hold it. Wiping was more of a problem, mentally. He’d had his share of experience with women, sexually and medically, but damn if he couldn’t quite bring himself to deal with that just now. Magnus’ knocking on the bathroom door brought him out of thoughts which, it turned out, had occupied him for long enough that his privates had dried.

“Are you okay, Will?” She sounded concerned, and she reminded him of his mother, which was something else he didn’t want to think about right now. He flushed and hurried out.

“Yeah, fine. Just dandy.” He hopped on the examination table, and the tests began. Magnus scanned him. She took blood. She looked in his ears, nose and throat (“What could possibly be in my ear that would explain this?”). She took brain wave patterns. In the end, she sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, and said it would take some time to analyze the data and he should really leave her to it. He nearly protested, but Big Guy was there, herding him out of the infirmary to let Magnus work and to make sure he ate.

Like he never had been before, Will was grateful for Big Guy’s silence. Big Guy put a plate in front of Will and watched while he ate it. The plate disappeared and there was coffee, just how he liked it. Will eventually wandered from the kitchen again and back to his room for his glasses but once there, a woman he simply couldn’t identify as himself stared back at him through his almost comically round glasses, and he left for a place without mirrors.

The entertainment room was empty and dark. He cocooned himself in a blanket like a moody teenager and put on the History Channel. Trebouchets were launching everything from pumpkins to Volkswagens, and the destruction wreaked on the flying items and the launchers was viscerally satisfying to the feelings of discontent and worry which boiled around with the beef stroganoff in his belly.

Kate walked into the dark room, identifying Will as the occupant by the twin reflective sheen of his glasses. She sat down next to him and leaned in a little, mushing herself into the blankets in a supportive manner.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Will said finally. Kate had almost dozed off to the sound of Roman soldiers battle tactics being explained in exhaustive detail by an overly enthusiastic and wheezy gentleman.

“Do what? You just sit back and Magnus will fix everything.”

“And what if she doesn’t?”

Kate chewed her lip. “Being a girl ain’t so bad.”

“But I’m not a girl.”

“Look, just think of it as going undercover as the opposite sex. You can play dress up for a few days while Magnus gets this worked out and bam, you’re back to your masculine ways in time for poker and cigars.”

Will gave her a baleful look.

“You’ve been dead, you’ve been a ‘roided up super-soldier, you’ve been the mouthpiece of a god-like sea spider and you’re telling me being a woman for a week is going to drive you over the edge?”

“When you put it that way...”  
-  
“First up, you take a shower.”

“What?”

“You. Smell. Take a shower.” Kate crossed her arms over her chest and gave Will a belligerent look. “I’m waiting.”

“Why am I here?” Henry asked, confused.

“You’re here to make sure she doesn’t sexually harass me.” Will glared at Kate.

“Huh. What?” Henry asked. “Isn’t that a little backwards?” Will’s eyes darted to Henry, and back at Kate, and he fled into the bathroom. “What the hell, dude!” Henry left to Kate’s protests.

“Don’t forget to shave! I put a razor in there.” Kate called through the bathroom door. “Don’t forget the legs!”

“I was on swim team - I know how it works,” Will groused. She had left him a razor - one of the pink ones with like, fifty blades, embedded in a bar of soapy lather stuff. Will glared at the razor as though it had done him a personal affront.  
-  
Will poked his head out of the bathroom with some not inconsiderable apprehension. Kate was sitting on the bed, fiddling with her nails. She threw a pair of panties at him which he caught, somehow, without dropping his towel. “A little privacy?” he asked plaintively.

“Like I haven’t seen you naked before,” she scoffed.

“Your sensitivity is simply overwhelming.” Kate rolled her eyes.

“We’re all girls here, RIGHT?” With that he was reminded of his promise to play it undercover for a few days, and their entire bonding conversation thing the previous evening.

“Fine then - you should be naked too.” He was struck with inspiration, recalling a similar conversation with an invisible woman.

Kate met his eyes in challenge, “Fine.” and began to strip off her shirt. She got down to bra and underwear before stopping and staring pointedly at Will, who was still clutching the panties and his towel. “I didn’t know your size exactly but I took a few from the guest rooms that should fit.” She threw a bra at him, which he didn’t manage to catch and which draped itself over his shoulder in a sweep of ivory embroidery and straps. So many straps. “Go holster those babies,” she told him with satisfaction. At that moment, Will suspected Kate was not just antagonistic, but was also a bit bisexual.  
-  
Bras were just as confusing as Will had always thought. There were the shoulder straps to adjust (how tight was too tight?) and the back strap thingy with like, ten different settings, and how hard was it to just make something to go around your rib cage? There was apparently a certain way to get breasts to sit in the cups of a bra, a ritual which he had seen numerous girlfriends go through with bending over and bouncing sometimes, which he entirely did not get the hang of. Kate eventually manhandled him (was that the right word?) and he told her that that was why he had wanted Henry there.

“So he could watch two girls feeling each other up?”

“So he could protect me from your grabby hands, Ms. Handsy,” he replied, taking two steps back and putting his arms protectively over his chest. This was much harder with a... chest.

“Look, if you want to go freebird around, that’s fine, but trust me - the minute you have to run some place - and given the history of our lives, that will be roughly immediately - you will be very glad for the support.”

Will frowned harder, and was given a shirt and pants for his efforts.  
-  
Henry’s eyebrows went up when Kate and Will entered his lab. Kate practically strutted, while Will looked as though he might like to go back to cowering under a blanket in the media room. He stared at Will a few seconds before ducking his head. Will, for his part, struggled valiantly to avoid body language which would convey the true levels of his discomfiture. The clinical side of it helped keep his mind occupied. “How are you feeling?” Henry asked the power source he had been fiddling with, studiously not looking up.

Will spun a lab chair around and sat on it backwards, pant legs flopping over his feet, propping his chin on the back rest in a mullish fashion. “Like a woman,” he responded.

“And how is that?” Henry’s voice was higher than normal - a sure sign he was trying to act normal but freaking out inside. Henry's desire to reach out to a friend was in an epic battle with his good sense and his deep discomfort.

“I’m fine, Henry. Just quit with the submissive thing.” Henry nodded, trying to be surreptitious about examining Will. Henry had a thing for strong women, and... damn, he was so not going there with Will. Henry immediately wished for a scrub brush with which to remove his previous thought. “You’re still doing it.”

“I’m sorry! I just - you’re you, but then I look at you and you’re this hot -” Henry’s look clearly said ‘I can’t believe I just said that and oh God please let him not have noticed’. He covered his head with his hands and hid his face on his work bench. Will was blushing. Kate looked like she wanted to laugh. “Did I just screw up our friendship like, for ever?” Henry asked from under his hands.

“I’m just declaring an amnesty on awkward comments for the next few days,” Will said with a sigh.

“Oh thank God.”

“You really think he’s hot?” Kate asked eagerly.

“No - I...”

“I mean, I’d agree, in a butch kind of way. It’s mostly the hair-” Kate sounded open to the idea.

“It’s a scent thing, okay?” Henry muttered.  
-  
“This is a huge opportunity, you know,” Kate told him over lunch.

“The thought had crossed my mind,” Will responded dryly. He had recovered a bit of his good humor over the last few days, as bras became less of a mystery and peeing less of an emotional crisis.

“If I had the chance I would totally jump at it.”

“Would you.” Will replied sceptically, pushing his chips around the plate. Kate gave him a look that clearly dared him to argue with her commitment to her statement. “Fair enough.”

“You could finally answer the question - who has it better?” Kate suggested.

“I think that would just open up a whole new can of worms,” Henry said.

“How so?” Kate shot.

“Well how would you know if your sample wasn’t just bad in bed?”

“You would have to take a statistically significant sample with proven members of the opposite sex.” Magnus had obviously caught the tail end of the conversation, and was smiling wickedly at a blushing Henry.

“I wasn’t just talking in bed.” Kate rolled her eyes. “Maybe with a bit of a window into how the other side sees things, people would be a little slower to judge.”

“How very insightful of you. Perhaps some of this place is rubbing off.” Magnus smiled in self satisfaction. “Regardless of the potential benefits to human society, I believe it would be disastrous for the community of these parasites to become widely known about. I was looking for a way to remove it, or perhaps coax it out without killing it, but I don’t believe it can be done without significant harm.”

“You knew how to remove it before now and didn’t?” Will was giving her one of his cockeyed, ‘I don’t quite believe you just said that’ looks.

“I wanted to save the creature, if at all possible,” Magnus returned earnestly. “As I said, though, I doubt it can be removed without killing it, and even if I could remove it I don’t think it would survive for more than a few minutes outside of a host.”

“Sign me up!” Kate broke in.

“No.” Will glowered at her.

“This is all trivial,” Magnus cut in.

“Okay, so it can be removed. Happy day. What happens to me then? No offense to the fairer sex, but I liked being me better than being not-me.”

“My tests showed conclusively that the creature was putting out a constant stream of retrovirus and endocrine signalling - without it present the retrovirus should degrade and hormones should return to normal.”

“For the non-MD’s in the class?” Henry asked.

“He should revert. Perhaps more slowly than he would prefer, but so it is.”

Will practically deflated in relief.  
-  
The reversion itself took two weeks and was much less comfortable than the sleep-hormone-stupor of the original conversion. At one point, while covering his head with a blanket and moaning “Don’t look at me!” as Kate poked fun at him, he realized the true hilarity of his absolutely insane situation, and began laughing hysterically. This had two positive results; Kate stopped poking him, concerned that she may have inadvertently set off a mental breakdown, and he regained some of a lost ability to laugh at himself.

Contrary to Kate’s urgings, he did not engage in sexcapades (though Nicola did make a very untimely visit soon after the parasite was removed, and made some very uncomfortable innuendo directed at Will). He did gain some appreciation for the difficulty of running while wearing a large backpack and carrying a stunner, with breasts.

Will enacted the “We will never speak of this again” clause of his friendships with his co-workers, which also covered Bollywood dancing, and an episode of nudity in time of dire stress, and put the whole thing behind him. Still, most mornings when Will woke he checked, just on the off chance, to make sure that everything was where it was supposed to be.


End file.
